Poking some holes in a swelling balloon

When all is doom & gloom, & a decaying mess, you can shine or you can drain away.

& all you need to know is that you don't know what is going to happen.

For when you say that they disapprove, you won't be liked, you can't fulfil their expectations you have already lost the game. Try your best, take your chances - & if you fail so what? It may be that you will not find what you want, but do you really know what you want?

Someone once told me that on average it took 200 applications to get to a job they are happy with. Others tell me that our generation will likely have 30 employers before they settle down & retire. Either way we're a generation spoilt with, for, and by choice - & that why we are paralysed with fear & doubt.

We don't need a sense of destiny, of picking the absolute right choice for who and what we are - but a sense that no matter what happens there are still other options, other opportunities, & other lives to be made.

Some people see the recession as a lack of opportunity. But opportunists know it as otherwise. We're all capitalists now - don't mourn what was, what you've have lost but manage what you still have, & what is now.

Chin up & charge!

Using a long forgotten place to vent

i can't say it to your face, but; i have a vague idea of what you expect from me. i'm sorry, i don't think i can achieve that. i'm sorry, but i just dont' think i can do what you want me to do, achieve what you want me to achieve. I have applications to hand in, with their deadlines all around me, applications that likely won't be accepted.

This whole year has been a huge fucking joke on myself; scrambling around trying to get a job when its the worse time ever to graduate, trying to fulfill my obligations to myself and your expectations. beating myself up over the approval of people whom don't even know i exist.

Now the only close family i have here is gone, leaving me with another bunch of applications with deadlines and a whole big empty house.