Friday 27 November 2009

Using a long forgotten place to vent

i can't say it to your face, but; i have a vague idea of what you expect from me. i'm sorry, i don't think i can achieve that. i'm sorry, but i just dont' think i can do what you want me to do, achieve what you want me to achieve. I have applications to hand in, with their deadlines all around me, applications that likely won't be accepted.

This whole year has been a huge fucking joke on myself; scrambling around trying to get a job when its the worse time ever to graduate, trying to fulfill my obligations to myself and your expectations. beating myself up over the approval of people whom don't even know i exist.

Now the only close family i have here is gone, leaving me with another bunch of applications with deadlines and a whole big empty house.

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